Wednesday, April 28, 2010
So toady started out a good day....now it has all gone to SHIT! Jaymes got the phone call we have been waiting a week for and of course bad news once again! Still not JOI can;t get B...I hate this...We are almost out of money...like we have $100..to our name and stuff that needs to be bought...we will soon be completely out of money and have no freaking way to buy anything we need other than food...that is great but we will need things that food stamps can't buy...Diapers, laundry soap, garbabge bags, shampoo, conditioner, soap, everything that we all need to live. and if we don't get a job soon we will not have water, phone, cable, or internet. I hate this...it makes me feel useless..I can't do anything...I can't get a job...no one will hire me...I am 33.5 weeks pregnant...right now my stress level is probably a 12 out of 10 and that is not good...I am sure my blood pressure is high right now too...I am just freaking out...WHAT THE HELL ARE WE GONNA DO??????? We can't rely on other people to pay our bills...I just don't know what to do anymore...All I can do is try to keep calm and not cry over this but man this really sucks...I just want to go somewhere where I can punch something and scream! All I can do is clean the house and pretend nothing is wrong...just keep up what I am doing and keep the signs of stress inside...What else can I do? I hate money, I hate that there are no Damn jobs, and I hate that it just seems like I am the only one that cares or is stressed by this...Well that is it...I am still stressed but at least I know what I am stressed about...FUCK SHIT FUCK! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE WE GONNA DO???