BLAH

for the past few days I have felt like crap...my head feels like it is in a vice grip and everytime I move it just gets worse..I know it is a sinius infection because it is very normal for me to get during pregnancy...on top of feeling yucky because I am stuffy and everything I am very stressed and overwhelmed.  There are so many thing that I want to do and other people want me to do that I just can't do them all.
I want to make cookies of Easter to give to everyone because I love baking and decorating cookies.  I also want to get my scrapbooking up to date...I am very behind...I try to have a page for every holiday each year and each fun event that happens but I am behind and have not even done Christmas 2009 yet. 
Schoolwork has my life...between my 10 assignments due each week I have to read a chapter for each class everyweek and sometimes two chapters for a class in one week...I also want to spend time with the family and get help my husband get a job.  There are just so many hours in the day.  I am 29 weeks pregnant and feeling the stress of the pregnancy...I sometimes wish it was over and baby Lydia was here...but then I think that I will be just as stressed and overwhelmed then as I am now.  School will be over before she gets here which will help out alot.  then I can maybe get others things done...A lot of scrapbooking will happen after school is done...

I guess I have just been feeling useless around here...I know I do the house work and keep the kids and everything happy and also keep everything running smoothly even though money is tight..I just feel like I amnot helping because I am bringing in no money...I hate it...and there are jobs that I can do but no one will hire me because I will jsut be gone in a few weeks anyway...I guess I just need to think positively but it is hard to do when everything is coming up and the money suply is short. 
We will need to pay the bills the next few month and also then baby is coming in June and we will have to buy diapers for her...Hopefully I get enought diapers at my baby showers to keep us a float until other things come along...

Now that my feelings are out and not bottled up inside I can get to work on some of this darn school work...I will be very happy when this semester is over and I can move to bigger and better things...

Life...

Ok so this page was totally for Twilight news and sharing my love of Twilight with people...I think I will continue that but also add my life stuff along with it...I need some where I can write what I feel and express myself without causing a mess in the porcess.  Have a place to let it all out will benefit me and my family.  This will be like my stress reliever...

So today is March 27th...and my ex-step dad has been here since Monday...It is very frustrating that he is here...it just makes my life harder...He doesn't help and just sits there when the kids are doing something they are not supposed to be doing....He complains about how much pain he is in because of his operation that happened over 2 years ago and I am just plain sick of him...He has not helped me in anyway except for waking the kids up super early!  and eating my food and drinking my soda...there is other stuff to drink...also he just leaves and thinks we will and should be home when he gets here...Excuse me this is my house!  not yours...I am so sick of him and will be very happy tomorrow when he leaves to go back to his Mommie's house...He thought that he was going to come here to Mesquite and get a job in a week...well that didn't happen...and I knew it wouldn't...My hubby has been looking for a job for over 6 months...Where does he think he woudl live anyway?  my house? HELL NO!!!   no no no FUCK NO!!!   he would not help and he would just take up space that I need for our new little one...I am pregnant and due in June...we have a three bedroom...and need the room for the baby...So he needs to leave...a visit is different but he thought I would invite him to stay...he is not family anymore and I don't have to be nice...I am a nice person but I still don't have to let him live here...I wish my mom lived closer but not him...My mom can come here and stay until she gets a place if that is her choice...because she is my MOM...and I know she will help me and Jaymes with bills and the family....But Jim needs to find himself a different place and needs to realize that we all don't care for him all that much...

OK that is so much better...I have that off my chest and can continue with my day...Schoolwork calls...